Going slow
Slowing down – and why it matters
Camilla Cavendish recently wrote a piece in the Financial Times Weekend entitled ‘The Importance of Slowing Down’, in which she reflected on the impact of her own recent enforced slowing down due to a sports injury. She comments: ‘Being forced to take things easier has not only made life feel lighter, but has also, to my surprise, made me more productive’. She talks too of finding the Post Office assistant ‘more forthcoming than usual, perhaps because I now had the time to properly listen’.
Her article made me think.
I’m consistently conscious of the benefits of going slowly enough in a coaching relationship to allow the coaching client the time and space to be able to surface what’s actually going on for them – to begin to perceive at a deeper level, and also to develop the trust in themselves (and in me) to be able to express it. And I encourage clients repeatedly to take time to engage in this kind of reflection between sessions. Some find it challenging. And then they start to realise the benefits. One client commented to me that reflection helps her understand who she is, which is especially important to her as she makes her way to becoming a senior leader in her professional services firm: she remarked that the organic unfolding that reflection allows is, and will be, the core of her success. How often do we hear that in leadership development programmes?
Our culture on speed
The work culture that many of us are familiar with celebrates speed, being busy (albeit not necessarily productive) and doing. It shows up in all sorts of contexts: the hidden or unhidden agenda behind appraisals and feedback, at the more formal end of the scale, and incidental remarks, expressions of admiration and implicit aspirations at the more informal end. This culture encourages us to race on and get as much done as we can, sometimes aiming to perform tasks simultaneously (hilariously, Camilla Cavendish talks of ‘this kind of double run, to cram in a quick meditation while doing exercise’). This race doesn’t allow space for the underpinning, important information to emerge.
What on earth are we thinking of? Well, maybe thinking is part of the problem. Maybe we need to be engaging in not-thinking, not-doing – but in being – in becoming aware of a wider and deeper landscape than the immediate task. A landscape that will reveal and illuminate more: more about the context and what it consists of, more about our somatic and emotional responses (which are usually more informative than our cognitive responses), more about our relationships, more about potential and possibilities, more about what really matters.
My experience of slow
I experience ‘slow’ in a whole range of contexts. There’s the client with a particular challenge who discovers what it’s really about and how to approach it by not rushing towards an apparent solution, but taking time to experience it in its fullness. There’s my preparation for a meeting or a coaching session by taking time to tune in to my somatic experience (what’s my body telling me?) and my emotional experience (how do I actually feel as I contemplate this client or topic, and the situation that’s being presented?). There’s the facilitation of a workshop. And – perhaps the most distilled and rich experience of slow: a silent 5-day meditation retreat.
Benefits of slow
In my experience this is the tip of the iceberg. My being in the slow lane, and my encouragement of clients to be there too, leads to benefits for both the client and me: perception is sharper and encompasses a broader palette, there’s a greater sense of calm (and when I’m calmer, this transmits itself to clients and helps create a sense of spaciousness), and a deeper sense of connection. There’s better, more accurate engagement with the issue at hand. Almost ironically, changes in thinking processes and the processing of situations lead to more effective judgments and decisions. Any sense of overwhelm is minimised. There’s less stress and more well-directed energy. And there’s more compassion for self and others: there’s room for love (this piece will tell you more about how that works).
What now?
So where next with this? For me, it means continuing consistently with my mindfulness practice and being generally more mindful. It means continuing to reflect, both formally and informally, and to encourage clients to do the same between sessions. It means more consciously designing a life that is spacious (see more on spaciousness here ). It means being conscious, in all senses of the word – not being carried along on any sort of tide without being aware of it, and choosing in awareness. And it means continuing to grow.
Photo by Morgane Le Breton on Unsplash
