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Two individuals about to burn out

High flyers – but telltale signs

At first sight they both look like they’re flying high, safe in their elevated positions. However, the telltale signs are there: both tell me they are only just managing to deliver (and deliver well) on a demanding agenda. They give the impression of being both fragile and driven, neither sleeps well, their lives are circumscribed and defined by their work, and they both say they spend far too little time with their families and their friends. Neither has any hobbies, and staying fit features nowhere for them.

No-one recognises the risks

One of the most remarkable aspects of working with them both is that no-one in their workplaces has recognised the risks that they are running: no-one has looked beyond their stellar performance or considered what it costs them on a personal basis to deliver that level of performance. No-one has guided them back towards a healthy way of working apart from a general suggestion to one of them – who did articulate to their line manager the condition they felt they were in – that they should take their work less seriously.

A systemic view of the dangerous spiral

The reasons for individuals being caught in the spiral of intensity and drive to deliver at consistently excellent levels of performance can be viewed systemically: they themselves may have a hidden loyalty to that way of working because it has been part of their family’s culture and history; it may be rooted in a rebalancing of agendas that the individual is in some way trying to fulfil; it may be about an agenda which allows them to repay an emotional debt. Or indeed it may be something else entirely.

Combine that with wilful blindness, and you get a dangerous cocktail.

Seeing the workplace as family

We habitually take our family issues to work, perhaps seeing our workplaces as replica families and seeking to work out unresolved family issues at work. These typically remain unresolved because are workplaces are not our families, and cannot resolve what was left without resolution in the family of origin.

The line manager or colleagues of someone who is on the downward slope to burning out may themselves be entangled in living out an agenda from their own history or background, rendering them unequipped to deal appropriately with the issue in front of them, or even to perceive what is happening.

Systemic coaching can help

It may take a systemically-trained coach to enable the illumination of what is actually going on – albeit that the coach’s first responsibility is to manage the ill-health which the client is suffering. As facilitative as I am in terms of coaching style, when a client’s health is at risk, I take a directive approach to encouraging them to prioritise getting well, quite apart from the coaching issues. A first useful step for them is to engage with, and accept, the tricky task of facing the truth of what is happening. And the second step is a visit to the GP or to Occupational Health.

Photo by Joel Dinda via Compfight

Burning out - and recovering health

I’m coaching two individuals who are on the verge of burning out. Both are hugely committed to their jobs and their organisations, both are talented, and both are high achievers. And no-one in their workplaces has looked beyond their stellar performance or considered what it costs them on a personal basis to deliver that level of performance. No-one has guided them back towards a healthy way of working. A first useful step for them is to engage with, and accept, the tricky task of facing the truth of what is happening. And the second step is a visit to the GP or to Occupational Health.

Why don't you hear me?

Talented people may feel a sense of isolation – lonely (nearly) at the top of their organisations - either because their perceived currency has diminished, or because it has been inconvenient to hear them, or because established hierarchies and power structures don’t allow their voices to be heard and their true value to be released. There is no simple, linear solution: the answer lies in a blend of self-awareness, mindfulness, systemic awareness, finding your voice, multiple perspectives to broaden your thinking, and listening to your intuition and your wisdom.

The end and the beginning

My article 'The end and the beginning' - Coaching at Work's reflection column in the March/April issue - takes as its context the Buddhist wisdom that what the caterpillar perceives as the end, to the butterfly is just the beginning. I consider my contrasting experience in working with, on the one hand, clients who have real energy for change, and, on the other, clients who resist change. Both endings and beginnings need respect for their time and their process.

The uncertain and the unknown

Uncertainty is an inevitable part of both our personal lives and our organisational lives. Self-awareness, self-understanding, and awareness of the systems we’re part of give us a foundation of ‘the known’ in a context where much may be unknown. This, in turn, can give us a greater sense of safety and agency. In addition, the acceptance of what is – acceptance of the now – is perhaps the most powerful source of calm in the turbulence of uncertainty. Mindfulness – awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgementally - encourages focus and distances us from distracting thoughts and emotions. Not only is it relaxing, but it also nurtures a quiet confidence in the present moment.

Humility and the advancement of the executive career

Humility is the capacity to recognise that you – how ever junior to me – offer something (a talent, a skill, an insight) that I don’t have, and that in that sense you are important to my success as a leader, and to our success as a team and as an organisation. Indeed, I am dependent on you – no matter in how small a way - in the system that we are all part of. Humility can be a key - albeit surprising - factor in the advancement of executive careers. More and more organisations are recognising the value of – and are recruiting for – talent that demonstrates the ability to be humble.

Inconvenient truths

My latest article, in Coaching at Work magazine's reflection column (Jan/Feb 2019 edition), looks at our reluctance as human beings to face uncomfortable facts, and the implications for organisational behaviour, especially where this can be counterproductive, or lead to ignoring obvious truths, such as poor leadership or distress in a team. I believe my role as external coach carries responsibility to surface and illuminate what may be hidden or opaque, to peel away layers of wilful blindness and enable sight of reality, which can be uncomfortable, confronting and liberating for my clients

Authority, courage and the leader

There's an interconnection between a leader stepping appropriately into their authority, on the one hand, and their courage, on the other. An effective leader understands their team and their client group, and is able to stay up to date with their needs, changes in those needs, and changes in the context and the system that impact on those needs: they are in touch with the ebb and flow – and act on it - without getting sucked in to the detail, and they can anticipate and prepare for changes. This takes courage.

Who am I? Shifting the focus

My latest article has been published in Coaching at Work magazine's reflection column. In it I explore the question that leaders sometimes put to themselves (and to their coaches): ‘Who am I if I don’t have the answers?’ The question is about both identity and performance – at the very least. While a leader is judged on the results they achieve, achieving outcomes rests in turn on a broader underpinning than just getting things right - notably process, meaning and system.

Trust and transition

Trust is a fragile commodity, and is damaged when the psychological contract (even more than the formal contract) is not respected and/or there is abuse of goodwill, when people feel exploited, disrespected or manipulated, when they have a sense that there’s a hidden agenda, or when they start to question what they had taken for granted about integrity. The outcome may be reduced motivation, performance that is restrained, constrained or diminished, and commitment that is short-lived or superficial. When trust is justified, discretionary effort, engagement and motivation are sustained and built. This is all highly relevant at a time of transition. As a leader you ignore the impact of trust at your peril.

Leading through systemic complexity

The task of leadership in our time is increasingly often described as complex – and leaders are often challenged as to how to deal with it. Leaders whom I work with arrive sooner or later at the realisation that question(s) they bring to coaching are either obviously or surprisingly complex, requiring a holistic approach to address them. Those whose behavioural pattern is to rush towards quick answers can find the exploration of what’s actually happening to be confronting, frustrating, uncomfortable – and rich in learning. In complexity what matters is strengthening relationships between people, recognising and understanding influences and forces rather than exerting control, accepting emergence rather than being focused on planning for outcomes, and a readiness to work with boundaries and perspectives rather than a sense of objective truth.

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