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As we move back towards COVID-dictated isolation, and the danger it brings of losing connection with those around us, I’m becoming aware of more and more contexts in which silence – a deafening silence – has been the order of the day for some time.

We may be silent in the face of ‘the difference between you and me’, when we’re fearful of expressing an opinion or a challenge, when we hold back because we don’t want to be first to articulate a statement or because it might make us vulnerable. In our Anglo-Saxon culture that’s often because of fear of, and/or uncertainty about, ostracism, punishment, discomfort, discrimination or even threat to a career if we break the silence and attract attention to ourselves for being different from the larger group. In other cultures – Finnish for example – silence is a normal part of everyday communication, in which space is given to others to speak, while Japanese culture values the elegant use of silence, which is itself viewed as a form of communication.

Holding back from challenge

Of course, there are many contexts in which silence is absolutely appropriate (the silence in a coaching session, for example, in which a coaching client is respectfully afforded space to simply be, or to think). Equally, the silence of nature is in fact part of its beauty: a silence inherent in its very being, and which is generous, nourishing, replenishing and restorative.

The kind of silence I’m talking about is a holding back from what needs to be called out or challenged – for example, not admitting you don’t know, or failing to speak up in the face of an injustice to oneself or others. It’s the kind of silence associated with not challenging an assumption made by a senior person or a peer – an assumption which actually distorts the basis of decision-making for the worse.

Silence about mental health challenges

Silence is noticeable in relation to people being reluctant to speak about their own or others’ mental health challenges (it’s fascinating to observe that this happens far less in relation to physical health challenges), as though there were shame in them – which, of course, there can be in the sufferer’s perception and experience.

Racial difference

I’m becoming increasingly aware of silence in the face of racial difference. Such difference is often obvious because of physical characteristics or differences of practice in everyday life. The individual who’s different from the majority often has to deal with difficulties unknown to, or not experienced by, the majority – overt or subtle discrimination, assumptions of all kinds, or even verbal abuse, for example. How often do those of us in the majority actually articulate the racial difference and enquire into the other’s experience? Often we stay silent, which puts at risk respectful connection in relationship – and at its worst, can create a gulf. This is particularly important at a time when the world needs not to be divided but to come together in connection and collaboration.

The cost of silence

While the apparent benefit of silence in such situations is to maintain the status quo – to avoid making waves which could potentially lead to discomfort or even conflict – silence may have a cost which is greater than the benefit. As we know from the work of Professor Amy Edmondson of Harvard University Business School, the danger of silence, when people don’t use their voices to admit mistakes, criticise the status quo, ask questions or offer ideas, causes the thinking power of a team to be diminished. At worst, damage is caused and negative outcomes are the consequence. This is the realm in which psychological safety brings a significant advantage: a climate in which individuals believe they won’t be undermined, criticised, ignored or punished for speaking up. In a context of psychological safety, when people use their voices, their own and their teams’ and organisations’ thinking power is released.

When mental ill-health is in play, but isn’t articulated, individuals’ health needs aren’t recognised or met. So they continue in silence, unsupported, while their condition deteriorates, corroding their wellbeing. I know of dramatic cases where an individual who seemed to be performing at a stellar level was actually struggling with their mental health until the moment (literally) when it – and they – imploded, and overnight the individual became unable to function. When a lack of mental health is made explicit it can be recognised, managed and treated, so that the individual can be supported to realise their potential.

When we fail to enter into conversation about, or to explicitly recognise racial difference, and both the richness it can bring and the individual’s experience of it, we fail to recognise, respect and acknowledge them. Worse, claims such as ‘I never even noticed you were black – I see you as just the same as everyone else’ denies the other the respect of knowing that we see them for who they are. We diminish them. When we articulate difference we recognise and can work with, and release, the resource that that difference can bring.

For leaders, recognition of voice, lack of health and the difference of race is critical in order to – first and foremost – acknowledge human beings in their fullness, and importantly, to release the potential of their teams and organisations more widely.

_{Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash}

The deafening sound of silence

Silence can denote a holding back from what needs to be pointed out or challenged, a reluctance to speak about one’s own or others’ mental health challenges, or not enquiring into experience of racial difference, which can put at risk respectful connection in a relationship – and at its worst, can create a gulf. In some circumstances silence has a cost which is greater than the benefit. The danger of silence, when people don’t use their voices to admit mistakes, question the status quo, ask questions or offer ideas, is that the thinking power of a team is diminished. When people’s mental health is in play they may continue in silence, unsupported, while their condition deteriorates, corroding their wellbeing. When we fail to enter into conversation about, or to explicitly recognise racial difference, we fail to recognise, respect and acknowledge the individual. A climate of psychological safety enables inappropriate silence to be transformed into the release of rich and fertile thinking.

Psychological safety: the secret weapon of effective teamwork

Amy Edmondson, Novartis Professor of Leadership and Management at Harvard Business School, has been researching psychological safety for 20 years, and defines it as is a shared belief that you will not be punished, ignored or humiliated for speaking up with ideas, questions, concerns or mistakes. Because in a climate of psychological safety, people feel free to put forward new, and even seemingly crazy, ideas, because they feel free to point out errors and risks to each other (including their seniors) and because they feel free to ask for help and surface failure, rates of creativity and innovation rise significantly. So too do trust, collaboration, engagement and discretionary effort, which link with another benefit: inclusion and the authentic embrace of diversity. I’m accredited as a Licenced Psychological Safety Guardian, which allows me to administer and debrief the Psychological Safety Index, based on Amy Edmondson’s work.

Building resilience to face the challenge of uncertainty

Uncertainty has always been a constant in organisational life, but COVID adds something new to the mix. The effects of uncertainty on individual members of the workforce include anxiety, and concomitant weariness, which seem to be an undercurrent in society at large. Many organisations have found that they’re slowed down by the inevitable precautions they need to take, and that they’ve lost some of their previous robustness, responsiveness and pace. They need more resilience – and nurturing it is one of the most important contributions a leader can make to equipping his or her team to negotiate a successful journey through uncertainty. This blog outlines some of the main contributors to resilience that leaders can usefully focus on.

Leading in complexity and uncertainty

Rather than it being the leader’s role to know all the answers, it’s their role to recognise that uncertainty and complexity demand a new approach to leadership: an approach which means the leader can enable themselves and others to ask questions, to look at things from multiple fresh perspectives, to create an environment which is psychologically safe and compassionate enough for those around them to experiment, learn, experiment again, and to move with curiosity towards some answers and new questions.

Self-care for the leader

I've been working with two leaders who are preoccupied with doing a very high-quality job at a time of significant external pressure and uncertainty – and both are experiencing extremes of stress, approaching burnout. Both are explicit that their performance is at about half the level of what they're used to delivering. Neither of them has been putting in place any boundaries or limits on what they’re asking of themselves, and both are struggling. They’re both trying to do the same job and deliver the same quality as pre-COVID, but in radically different circumstances – and it’s an impossible task. While there's no silver bullet resolution, there are options for changing approach. ‘Normal’ isn’t what it was - and we all need therefore to prioritise our self-care and have the courage to look through new lenses and do something different with what we see.

Isolation, connection and leadership in COVID-19

The isolation that has been a feature of life worldwide ever since the known beginning of COVID-19 in Wuhan is fundamentally at odds with the fact that human beings need to connect with each other in order to survive and to maintain our mental health. Dr Stephen Porges' polyvagal theory tells us that we can create ways of helping ensure that colleagues feel connected. He recommends particular awareness that a lot of modulation in a voice – rather than monotone delivery – along with a friendly face, and open body language, maintain calm and nurture engagement. Similarly, smiling conveys cues of safety and empathy because it involves movement in the muscles round the eyes which, in a smile, convey the message ‘I’m happy to be with you’ – and a sense of safety encourages both engagement and learning.

Coaching through COVID

Coaching through COVID is a pro bono coaching programme which offers a listening ear by psychologically-minded coaches to any NHS or care worker during and beyond COVID-19

A high-performing team through COVID-19

While it’s still early days, this programme is without question delivering value at a time of considerable stress, anxiety and exhaustion for NHS staff dealing with COVID-19. High-quality coaches at an advanced stage of coaching maturity are supported by teams of wellbeing and trauma specialists, and the core team shares a clear purpose, to which all team members are passionately committed. We are privileged to experience humble and inspiring leadership from Mark McMordie, constantly with an eye both on the present and the future, and with a focus on both the big picture (a systemic, creative and far-reaching view) and the operational detail to implement it, and attention paid to team members’ wellbeing and self-care so that we can sustain ourselves as well as the programme. This is distributed leadership in action, with all team members feeling free and trusted to take initiative, and all working with agility and flexibility. The outcomes of the team ethos are showing in coachees' positive feedback.

Pro bono NHS coaching for COVID-19

In COVID-19, NHS medical staff are facing an encounter with an illness whose scale and rate of transmission is nothing like anything they’ve ever encountered before. They are frightened, stressed, anxious, exhausted from working long shifts in a new, uncertain yet threatening context, and in some cases, they're traumatised. The pro bono coaching programme COVID-19 Rapid Response Coaching (C19RR), set up in mid-March, is a professional, high-quality coaching programme, supported by supervision, trauma specialists, counsellors and therapists, and is being rolled out at speed. It has started with a pilot at a large London teaching hospital, and demand is growing exponentially.

Never enough time

The underpinnings of clients' 'too little time' often turn out to be something from a completely different source, such as patterns related to taking responsibility, unclear priorities or unclear purpose, being distracted by the short-term rewards of 'helping', or aiming for perfection. The costs of striving to fit an unrealistic amount of work into too little time can include stress and exhaustion without ever feeling you've got anywhere. So struggles with time are often actually struggles with embedded patterns of thinking, behaviour and loyalties. Gaining insight into those patterns and so giving oneself more choice is the key - and fundamental to that is taking time for honest and courageous reflection, either alone or with a skilled coach.

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